Happy Valentine's Day

This post has nothing to do with the title. Read it or leave it.

Just what I felt after he dropped the bomb.

And while typing this, I'm in a clear state of mind.

Dear S-II,

Hi. I don't even know how to start this post or facing you after this. After less than a three months relationship, you dropped the break off bomb out of nowhere. You said you never declare but your actions were beg to differ. At first I thought you were joking because you're not gonna dumped me through facebook. But then, when I read through the lines, it sounds serious. I called and called but you never picked up. And yes, I was crying last night and demanded an explaination.

After you explained it to me. It felt like a nightmare to me. A real life one. You said you can't moved on. Did you ever think that it would be easy for moved on too? Hell no. I can moved on but it will takes time. Metaphoric speaking, you were in front of me, holding a gun in your hand and shot me right at my heart in a very close range. It was a through and through. That's how I felt like. Then I realized, there was Set Fire to the Rain song at the background. And for the first time, I understood every lines of that song.

S-II (two), that was the initial I gave it to you in my both phones and every time I wanted to mention you especially in my Google+ and Twitter. I changed your name to S-II so that everyone would wonder who's that lucky guy that succeeded in stealing my heart. Now, I changed it back to the previous one. You'd changed me a bit here and there though. Don't worry, only a few people knew who you really were and the rest will always known you as S-II or him. I'm not gonna tell who you were to the others because I still respect you as a student leader. We both have a reputation to keep, right?


Anyway, I'm very thankful for all the memories. Even though it was short but it's euphoric. Now I know how falling in love felt like. What didchu know, you were my first love. I will always remember the first (and the last) time we karaoke-ing together. I will always remember when we watched Tower Heist, Breaking Dawn and Immortal together. I will always remember how we hang out til early in the morning. And I will always remember that first night out. Damn. Why am I having a good memory in experiences and a bad one while sitting for an exam. 

You dumped me and I replied it back like a boss. I'm not that strong to hold back. So I cried until I fell asleep hoping that in the morning (now) I'm feeling better. Well, it worked. I felt a lil bit better than last night. Remembering everything, I was stupid to let myself falling in love. I don't know where was my brain that time. So, I don't blame wholly on you. But I still blamed you for hurting me after all these months. Well, the next guy who wanna be my boyfriend/hubby, don't blame me for being hard to get. Because this what I used to be.


I locked my heart after my first break up. Nevertheless, I didn't lock it hard enough that you can unlocked it easily. This time, I'm gonna lock it away in a safe. Kalau dah jodoh, tak kemana kan...

Next time, I'm gonna bring along my brain

In forgetting you, I must keep myself really busy. Busier than before til there's no time in thinking about love. And in making myself busy, I'm gonna run as one of the student representative council aka MPM for another term.

I think we are going to meet a lot after this. So let's just be friend and professional.

Forgive I can but Forget I can't.

It's just hard for me though.

Thanks for the memory. I don't love you like I loved you yesterday.

Falling in love for the first time,

Z

Z : It was really hard for me to post something about him while I was in love. But now, it seems so easy. There were some of my previous post about him and I'm not gonna delete it because he was a part of my life. And this blog going to be read if (suddenly) I have an amnesia or for my descendants to read it which indicates that I have an interesting life or when I'm gone.