LOL #7 : Travelers' Tales

My Grandmother
When my grandma first when to New Zealand from Malaysia, she had to go through customs like everybody else. The customs officer asked her whether she had any dried fish, salted shrimps, belacan, cincalok or durians. Unaware that this was part of the routine inspection, 
grandma politely replied, "had I known you wanted any sir, I would have brought you some."


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I got them. XD

Math-ness
At NY's Kennedy airport some years ago, an individual - later discovered to be a public school teacher - was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the US attorney 
general disclosed that he believes the man to be a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math destruction.


"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," he declared. they seek average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined
they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to argue, there are three sides to every triangle.


When asked to comment on the arrest, the President stated, "if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math destruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has shown us a sine that it is intent on protecting us from
these math-dogs, who are willing to disintegrate us with culculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line.


The president warned, "these weapons of math destruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor in random facts of vertex."


The Attorney General concluded, "as our great leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertain of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens."


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The Polish Eye Test

A Polish immigrant went to the JPJ to apply for a driver's license. First, of course he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters : "c z w i x n o s t a c z ."

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the polish guy replied, "I know this guy."

Z : Got these jokes?